(Source: deathlehem, via gabbysartori)
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
(via 500daysofmydick)
when people unfollow you and you’re left wondering which post was the final straw
(Source: supjono)
(via gabbysartori)
- (I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
- Me: “So, what will it be?”
- Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
- (There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
- Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
(Source: disney-magickingdom, via fuckyeahdisneyclassic)
imagine if giraffes had 2 legs
That just looks like the front view of a giraffe.
oh well excuse me princess do u need a fuckin sideview of it prancing through nature
(via 500daysofmydick)
(Source: makemestfu, via lauraxxjean)
“He threw all those parties, hoping she’d wander in one night.”
(Source: goldhattedgatz, via lauraxxjean)
